by roy k austin
The sage philosopher, Alan Watts, in his book ' The Joyous Cosmology '
states, ' consciousness peers out from a centre which it cannot see -
and that is the root of the matter' .
What am I to make of that, I thought. In the first place I wondered, who
or what is it that wants to make sense of it?
If my true self is the 'I'
consciousness that Watts refers to, then I could only conclude that a
false sense of self, lets call it 'm', is the answer! Our language is
inherently dualistic, not only breaking up the world into numberless
bits, (failing to see the connection between things) but also having the
same effect on ones growing consciousness and awareness, from
cradle to grave. This 'I' consciousness or witness or seer seemed
only to make sense within a non dual vision of the world. Putting it
simply, where all is connected to over all unity.
Civilisations have evolved in a dualistic way and
though we can see limited benefits in this, our history is a long
passage of fragmentation and consequential destruction. Given long
enough, all our endeavours turn to ashes. The east has its history
of non dual perspectives and sees the material world/universe as real
but only real as illusion. (Maya.) And in several traditions gives
rise to this 'I' consciousness. Personally ( I ) have real empathy for
this ' I ' consciousness, this seer, that peers out from each one of us.
It is real to me as 'true identity' independent of all thoughts and the
workings of the brain. Indeed I have an experiential certainty that
this ' I ' is indistinguishable from the causal spirit of all. Which,
of course, includes the brain and all mental processes. Thus what
I think I am is and always has been, the workings of my brain, but
what I really am is the causal spirit, the ' I ' that peers out from my
centre, indeed, the cause of the universe and the cause of my untrue
self - when I realise my true self. Inside myself I am aware of a vast,
dark emptiness, which I intuit and feel is too full to be manifest. It is
a biological expression of infinite divine mystery to me and the altar
of true spirituality and true faith. This emptiness is conscious and
inescapably my identity and yes, Alan Watts is correct- I cannot
focus on what I really am, looking out, because I am engrossed with
what I am doing, concomitantly, with temporary amnesia too. That which
I call ' me ' is undoubtedly a coil of memories, which is the past and
which forms ego that like a spinning vortex, will slow down and expire.
So what is 'it ' that wonders what it is, confronted with this ' I '
consciousness in each one of us, connected and non dual? The
answer surely is 'nothing'? And into this mad, mad world of ours
we stand back and see it all as a crazy game. - Only one ' I ' -
the self of the world, looking through all of us and causing all and
no doubt, as Watts would say,'having a bal '.
Why does God make
horrible people, asked the children of Watts? Remember, said
Watts, God (The one non duality) is only hurting God for there
is nothing outside God. Helpful to indoctrinated children, perhaps
but to adults who have dispensed with the objective 'He' God -
how do we come to die to our 'untrue selves'? Perhaps its something
to do with the two words 'true love'. By true we would mean no trace
of the old self. The ' I ' does not have true love as an attribute - it is
true love. Whether we like it or not our ' I ' consciousness means
non duality- the non dual vision of life. Even the mystic teacher
Jesus knew this when he said 'take up your cross (gibbet) to follow
me. We must die to our unreal self to realise our true self.
Its quite a discovery to realise when we awaken to this vast reality
of what we really are, and how we shrunk ourselves to play and
pour out this cosmic dance of joy and pain, good and bad, light
and dark as if we were on a sabbatical from blissful eternity?
(From the mysticseed : Towards Atman :